When describing the ‘click’ and what that means to each other, it is often sought in feelings or in sharedness (ways of thinking, lifestyles, experiences). However, that is the outcome we see while the underlying reasons for feelings or sharedness are not mentioned. And although this is different for everyone, we can all point out someone in our circle of friends who by nature has a ‘click’ with everyone. How is this possible?
After searching online, we find that the following aspects influence that so-called ‘click’;
Environment (Stable life)
Characters / Personality (Meyer briggs)
Mental energy social interaction (Introvert, Ambivert & Extrovert)
Let’s start with the first:
A study in 2015 found that being nice, friendly, and open-minded are a silent prerequisite to building a ‘click’ with others. The environment plays a role in this as well because calm, stress-free, helpful surroundings encourage the development of these silent prerequisites. The reverse is also true. Think of ghettos where just saying ‘hello’ to the neighbor is potentially dangerous. This discourages from working on these silent prerequisites or at least doesn’t give the person in question a chance to do so.
One is born with a certain character. The first distinction that can be made is whether the individual has a preference for people or for systems. It goes without saying that people with a preference for systems are at a disadvantage because the properties that make them strong in systems are at odds with the properties that are necessary to comfortably interact with people. While it’s not absolutely that black and white, there is a noticeable difference.
To illustrate this problem, let’s take a look at 16personalities. A three-level distinction is made in characters, namely:
Hypersensitive or undersensitive (Turbulent / Assertive types)
Look at the solution to see which characters come out best to get or have a ‘click’ with.
Mental energy social interaction
A mouthful but it comes down to whether you are introverted, ambivert, or extroverted. The ratio appears to be as follows:
Introverts (~ 15% – 22%)
Ambiverts (~ 24% – 67%)
Extroverts (~ 15% – 54%)
Although sources conflict about the percentages, we conclude that the vast majority of humanity rather generates mental energy or at least does not loses it through social interaction. Therefore introverts lack an evolutionary advantage to keep going in the moment.
To illustrate; cooking after work. An introvert cannot do that, an ambivert is unbothered, and an extrovert invites a few colleagues as a prerequisite prior to start. This illustration is just one of many daily worries, causing an increasing distance between primarily introverts on the one hand and ambiverts / extraverts on the other.
No human being can escape social interactions. Getting tired of this relatively faster is an exponential disadvantage and losing (at least) no energy is an exponential advantage. Because mental fatigue (unintentional) makes people more unapproachable due to social interactions, the perception arises that there is little reciprocity. This reciprocity is required whether we like the other person or not.—-
Although handicaps are part of the reality of humanity, but not all are viewed equally. There are many serious handicaps (both physical and psychological) but it matters a lot what it is and where it manifests itself. Connotation (emotional value) also plays a role in this. As an example:
Cancer, heart attack, cerebral infarction, very serious and yet when talked about it evokes understanding rather than aversion. To stay with the physical handicaps, what about naevus? Innocent but not if the person has his entire body (mainly visible part) covered with it.
It gets really tough with mental illness. They are already having a hard time because of the prejudices and then even within this group there is a hierarchy who has the best chance of getting a ‘click’ with others.
Think of depressions & burnouts that evoke understanding rather than aversion. But borderline, autism, and mental retardation have some rough edges that need to be made less rough before the ‘approachability’ will return.
We saved the most disputed topic for last. Zodiac signs! Reading through horoscopes, it is noticeable that certain zodiac signs are usually more ‘likeable’ and others are not. Just think of constellations to which the ‘social butterfly’ belongs. There are a number of properties associated with this that make it possible to be a social butterfly.
After a selection by this source, it is abundantly clear that Taurus & Libra are the most eye-catching, with whom people will usually click with. We base this on the fact that they most likely meet the characteristics mentioned in our heading ‘The solution’. Sagittarius & Capricorns also have a chance, provided their rough edges are smoothed out.
Despite the fact that a number of elements are striking that creates a favorable breeding ground for making a ‘click’, this is not absolute. In other words, if you do not meet all these elements, you can still have a ‘click’ with others, it will only occur proportionally (possibly) less often and less intense compared to Libra and Taurus.
The topics listed in the problem are diverse in nature and we cannot always easily bring about change in order to arrive at a solution. Nevertheless, we are going to make an attempt to offer some tools.
It starts with making time. Time to organize your own affairs. Insert a commitment freeze until old commitments are completed. Find or reserve money for repairs and refurbishment of the own immediate environment. By default, work together with someone to keep motivation high, including making a schedule.
The idea behind this is, ‘that the less one has to worry about oneself, the more one can worry about others’. This feeds the mindset to be open (again) to new experiences. Good to know that with relatively the least effort, the most influence can be exerted on the immediate surroundings.
There is not by definition a good or bad character, but there are usually characters who manage to easily maneuver themselves through more social situations. Because we want to enable everyone to easily maneuver through more social situations, we have analyzed what these characters do (or avoid) and we compiled the following bulletpoints:
Peacekeepers (approaches others positively)
Sacrificial (can put the other first if necessary)
Avoid a poisonous tongue (no swearing or false accusations)
Believes in equality, justice and harmony
Not competitive on the person (but is on the system!)
Not liking conflict (without being ignored)
Do not criticize and / or hurt (unless a solution is presented at the same time)
Being friendly and / or nice is in their nature
Loves tranquility (and acts after it)
Has a stable character (can contain and handle everything that comes on their path)
Is good at diplomacy (emphasizes on good relations)
Meyer Briggs | Primary classes
Continuing on the most ‘likeable’ characters we take a look at the website 16personalities. The 4 primary classes are:
Based on our list above, Diplomats score the best. They score the highest because often it’s innate instead of learned. If one falls under the primary class Diplomats, they have a head start on the rest.
Meyer-briggs | Sub classes
If we dig deeper into one primary class, we see another split arise, system-oriented versus people-oriented. People-oriented people continue a dialogue regardless of the subject, even if they agree with it or not. We can speak of a communication fascination. This orientation favors their likeability over system-orientated people.
Meyer-briggs | hypersensitive and undersensitive
And then there is this final split. When hypersensitive, as fun as the subject may be, the head will eventually fill up and must therefore take a break. This can take a while but there is a limit. In contrast, the undersensitive can go on indefinately on the condition that they receive external stimulation.
Conclusion, nice people-oriented characters who can keep communicating indefinately, seem to have the best chance of making a click because they capture the imagination or shortcomings of the other classes & types. According to this link, 16.9% of the world’s population fits in to the primary class of diplomats, including its subdivisions. In short, there is work to be done to get more people to have an easier click together.
Mental energy social interactions
The introverts in particular, need a solution that most likely needs to be found in, either more delegation (to people) or more automation (to robots). For example, calendar appointment-making software. And for a more extreme solution one can also think of Elon Musk’s company, Neuralink.
First of all, we will not consider handicaps that cannot be remedied here. The handicaps that people want and / or can do something about, the sharp edges should be removed first. This is a lengthy process that can only be successfully completed with adequate unconditional help (provision) based on the needs of the person with the handicap.
The idea behind it is that with that unconditional help, all ‘misery’ that the person with the handicap has, can be resolved. In this way he can profile himself ‘more’ in the public domain with the aim of becoming as approachable as possible.
It starts when one is bothered by it. Then the only possibility is to take off the sharp edges of that zodiac sign and that is a process of decades as it is directly linked to changing character (traits). As far as we know, this is only possible with training, coaching and a large portion of perseverance.
As one can see, there is much more to having a ‘click’ with someone than the word alone suggests. Materialism, interests and future perspectives intertwine and end up in a melting pot, which will eventually make the click.
G: Animation video ‘Visualizing the click’